Watching Over Her
by Julian-and-Ivy-Always
Summary: Losing her baby, Gwen is torn and finds herself in the arms of an unexpected man.
1. Default Chapter

Watching Over Her  
  
The Story: After the painful loss of her baby, Gwen is slowly trying to pick up the pieces of her destroyed marriage. Dr. Abel, who feels for his patient, can't help but grow closer and closer to her and further away from his professionalism.  
  
Main Characters: Gwen, Dr. Abel, Ethan, Theresa 


	2. A rainbow at the end of the storm

She layed there in much discomfort, so pale and fragile. Her face fought back the blinding ray of artificial light trying to smother her. Although her eyes remained hidden, pain and destruction was still obvious in the woman. Her eyelids would flicker from time to time as her head shook away the negativity which dug deep into her mind and soul. Her delicate cheeks were accessorized with a new batch of tears that seemed to end just at the tip of her lips. Forced to a deep sleep, the woman battled for a moment of peace but her mind had plans of their own. Recent memories still vividly tickled her head, bleeding torment on her emotional stability. Today had been the worst one of her whole life. The afflicting anguish seemed to have taken over her completely, for it was all she could think about. Every second of every minute she thought about her husband. His lack of devotion and integrity had dragged her into a situation she must dreaded. The loss of her child. Though he never intended to hurt her in any which way, his lies had finally caught up with him. His lover, a deceitful dreamer lured him back into her anticipating and impatient arms. Their raw, physical attraction made them mingle in a fog of desire and bittersweet lust. It had been a moment where nothing or no one mattered but them and their selfish needs. Temptation managed to get to the best of him and before he could comprehend the matter, he had cheated on his wife with another woman. No matter how hard he had tried, it was plain as day that he still loved this other woman in his life but chose not to be with her. Now his wife had to pay for his mistakes and it pained him deeply. It wasn't fair to her or the innocent infant they had unwillingly lost. He managed to sink himself in a pool of lies and deception, not able to swim to the surface and free himself from the sinful secret. He hated himself for that. So much. What could he possibly do or say to make things all better? Nothing could change the fact that he was a terrible husband and hurt his wife in the most unimaginable way. Still, he lingered on hanging to faith. Faith that everything in the long run would somehow fit together like a jigsaw puzzle, without any flaws or imperfections.  
  
"Ethan?"  
  
Behind him was his old flame, Theresa. She stood there unsure of his upcoming words or actions. His face seemed tired and exhausted, wishing the whole ordeal was all a nightmare.  
  
"Ethan, please, say something. I have to know what you are thinking."  
  
He turned back to his original position, facing his wife. How could he tell Theresa what he was thinking? There was just too much to organize and put into words. He was disgusted at himself for his deceitful actions. He loathed himself for not having enough respect to himself and his wife to resist Theresa's seductive ways. Why didn't she stop him from kissing her? Wouldn't she at least have had the common decency to resist a married man from making love to her? Ethan already knew the answer to that question. It stunned him in a way. All Theresa had wanted in her life was him and his love. It was only natural she would respond to his moves. She cared for him and dreamed of being with him once again....but no, she wasn't innocent at all. Her feelings were not more significant than the overall health and well being of his wife and their now deceased baby girl. At this very moment he almost hated her even though deep down he knew he only blamed himself for the whole situation.  
  
"Ethan, you have to know I didn't do this purposely to hurt Gwen. I never wanted her baby to die. I was only–"  
  
"Save it Theresa," he let her go on no more. "I am sick of hearing it. I don't want you to be here. It will only upset Gwen more. Although I think she deserves someone who sincerely loves her wholeheartedly, I need to be there for her. She shouldn't go through this alone. She deserves more than that, Theresa. Our actions have ruined her life!"  
  
"But Ethan we couldn't help ourselves!" the brunette persisted. "We are in love and we couldn't stand not being...." This time the simple shake of Ethan's head stopped her from finishing her sentence. It was obvious her words would only fall upon deaf ears so she just stood there, biting her lower lip cautiously.  
  
"Listen Theresa. This isn't the best time to talk about this. My wife needs me right now to comfort her as much as I can, if she lets me. I only hope that gradually she can think about forgiving me for my disturbing actions."  
  
"Oh Ethan that is such a harsh way of explaining our love for each other...."  
  
"What is harsh is that my wife is laying here in the hospital trying to deal with the fact that her baby is dead! All because of me! Us! Our performance on the beach that she had seen on television! My God Theresa, could she have found the truth out in a more dreadful way!?"  
  
Theresa was taken back by Ethan's outburst. She almost expected it but still felt the burn. Her mouth opened in protest but no words escaped her. She saw in Ethan's eyes a plead that she would just let it go for the moment. She would, but only for a short while.  
  
~*~  
  
It was in the middle of night when Gwen had awoken from her sleep. At first she scrambled to collect her thoughts and comprehend what was going on. Her forehead was burning up. She felt the wrinkled imprints from the bedspread which was previously clutched by her own two hands. She was mad, furious to be exact. Her whole body itched for revenge but also ached for peace and remedy. Her baby, her life, was now lost. It felt like a knife stabbing her a million times in the heart. The scars would never heal even with time and she knew that. The baby she had been carrying for 9 months was now just a bittersweet memory. It was still a part of her, but only mentally. Her daughter Sarah was dead and it still gave her after shocks. She couldn't understand why this had happened. Why did her baby have to die? Why did an innocent soul have to suffer for her husband's wrong doings? It did not seem fair at all which made Gwen all the more angry and devastated. It was like a part of her had been brutally taken away forever. Now all that was left was a web of complex emotion and questions. What was she going to do next? How was life suppose to go on knowing her infant was dead? How could she even begin to forgive her husband's cheating nature? But what bothered her the most was that all of this pain had initially spread just because of Ethan and Theresa's sick obsession for each other. Not being able to control themselves and think about anything else but their own self-indulgent needs.  
  
"My baby," she only mouthed in a soft mutter. "My baby is gone."  
  
There in the darkness she begun to weep. She squeezed her eyes shut while tears still managed to freely escape her. At first she only let out low sobs until her voice gradually projected loud enough. She was now screaming for relief. For hope. For strength. For any sign that someone out there cared for her enough to come to her aid. Her prayer seemed to have been answered for someone's distant footsteps were now coming towards her in a great speed. The next thing she knew, a figure emerged in the darkness and sat at the foot of her bed. Their hands suddenly searched for hers in hopes of getting her to calm down. At first Gwen refused, banging and twisting every which way, vowing to make someone make for her baby's death. It had now been several minutes that she had cried, each sob louder than the previous. The individual embraced her all too suddenly, letting her cries of agony dissolve onto their warm shoulder. Gwen had let herself be swept in this person's arms long enough until she got a grip on reality. It put her at ease despite being physically and emotionally drained. She was so tired of crying. So depressed over her loss that she knew deep down would always hang around her like a dark rain cloud. It was this person's warmth that led Gwen to finally hush her sobs. Its reassurance and comfort momentarily distracted her and allowed for sleep to trap her in a world of self-consciousness. 


	3. Goodbye to you

It was already noon when Gwen had awaken from her dreams. In a peculiar way, she felt very much rested despite her terrible ordeal with reality. She still recalled last night when someone had come to her aid as if it was all a sweet dream. Was it? She wasn't quite sure. All she recalled was feeling as if someone out there cared for her. Like she actually mattered. It was a strange sensation after being cheated on, but it had momentarily swept her away from anything negative in this world. Gwen remembered being spoken to. In a low, but soft voice a man was reassuring her that everything would be okay. His words were as if gentle music to her ears, feeding her with phrases she wanted to hear so badly. That she wasn't alone in this world and was strong enough to move on with her life. These things she would often doubt but the confidence in his words made Gwen almost believe him. It was a voice she longed to hear again in the near future, whoever it may have belonged to.  
  
"Gwen, how are you feeling?"  
  
Distracting her from her thoughts, Gwen examined the man standing in front of her. It was Dr. Abel, a man that had started to treat her sensitive pregnancy ever since she had flew to LA with Ethan. He gave her a slight grin while checking over files that lay in his hands. For a quick moment Gwen just stared at him while he remained focussed on her paperwork.  
  
"Fine," Gwen almost hesitated to say. She didn't particularly like lying, especially to her own doctor. Although she attempted to smile back at him as a sign that everything seemed well, he sensed just the opposite.  
  
"Gwen, I know when a patient of mine isn't fine." Doctor Abel explained, looking up at her. "I understand if you are feeling hurt right now. You should be. The loss of an infant is a lot for a mother to deal with."  
  
Just as Gwen nodded in a miserable mood, someone emerged from the curtain. The last person she would ever request to see. He stood there, clenching his jaw and fighting back tears. He had no idea what Gwen would say to him but he sensed the words wouldn't be pleasant.   
  
"Ethan," hissed Doctor Abel, aggressively pushing him back to where he had emerged from. "What do you think you are doing? You know Gwen doesn't want to see you right now."  
  
"I'm her husband!" Ethan harshly spat at the concerned doctor, making him all the more angry. This man in front of him wasn't worth being called a husband. To him, Ethan Winthrop was garbage. Marriage vows were meant to be sacred and special, but this man's actions proved differently. Doctor Abel only briefly heard about his love triangle with Gwen and Theresa from the gossipy nurses, but he knew enough to know Ethan wasn't at all decent or loyal. No honourable man would cheat on their wife with her number one rival. It utterly sickened the doctor that Gwen had promised herself to love Ethan Winthrop for all her life, through sickness and health. It wasn't equitable that she had remained devoted and trustworthy to her partner while he wasn't. He was a fool for doing this to Gwen. She deserved so much better than this unfaithful man who stood in front of him just now.   
  
"You don't deserve her." Doctor Abel point blankly exclaimed. Ethan opened his mouth to protest but only stopped himself. Although he didn't want to believe it, Doctor Abel was right. No way could he explain his actions to his devastated wife. How could he possibly explain her that her suspicions had been accurate this whole time? That he was in love with a woman and dreamed of her? That he craved to be with this woman more than his own wife? Still, he didn't want to leave Gwen. Ethan wanted to help her get past their baby's death, after all, it was his own fault. He hated himself for being so selfish and careless.  
  
"Please, let me see my wife." Ethan begged Doctor Abel, his eyes full of regret and deep sorrow. Although the doctor personally would have thrown him out the second he learned Ethan's true colours, Doctor Abel thought of Gwen. It was only fair to her that she would at least get an explanation. She needed to hear the truth from him. That was what marriage was all about. Truth and honesty and what kind of man would he become if he stood as an obstacle in letting them work things out? He didn't want to admit it, but there was always room for a second chance. Selfishly the doctor prayed Gwen wouldn't forgive him and finally set herself free. Move on with her life. Find someone that was worth fighting for.  
  
"Alright, go in. It's only up to Gwen if she wants to see you or not."   
  
Sighing, Doctor Abel stepped aside and examined the urgency in Ethan. He was either ready to work things out with his wife or better yet, put an end to things and let them part ways. All of this chaos somehow hit the doctor more on a personal level than any other patient he had dealt with in his career. It was simply a relationship built on lies and injustice. He knew it wasn't any of his business to get involved yet his eyes didn't dare to blink as Ethan stepped inside Gwen's isolated corner. She said nothing. He said nothing. For a long time all they did was stare at each other. All the bruises and scars were still fresh. They both knew on some level their love could not get passed all that had occurred here in the LA heat.  
  
"Gwen, honey..."  
  
"Don't you honey me." Spat a bitter Gwen, rotating her face around. She couldn't even look at Ethan anymore. His eyes only reminded her of everything disastrous in her life. Doctor Abel attentively studied the scene unfolding in front of him. He remained hidden in a small corner of the curtain as Ethan scrambled for the right words of reassurance.  
  
"Just let me explain at least."  
  
"Explain what exactly Ethan? The gory details of how you cheated on me with Theresa. My God Ethan! Theresa!? Your old fiancee!? I knew you still loved her! You do, don't you? So how long has this been going on for? Huh? Tell me! How long have you been seeing Theresa behind my back? Have you made love to her yet, Ethan or is making out on the beach enough to satisfy your disgusting needs?"  
  
"Gwen!" Ethan interrupted her from going any further. "It wasn't like that at all!"  
  
"Oh really? So you two just fell on top of each other? Or maybe you were giving Theresa CPR. Yes Ethan. That's how it must have been, right? Just a big misunderstanding! Silly me for thinking the worst! I mean, I see my husband, who by the way, promised to love and cherish me, making out with no other but the famous Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald! You knew I hated her Ethan. You knew that I thought she would come between us and look! Yet again she has! I don't know how she did it but she did! And now all I can do is picture you two on that beach!! And how you two were touching each other and..."   
  
Gwen stopped mid-sentence to weep. This news wasn't new to her. Ethan loved Theresa. Ethan wanted to be with Theresa. Ethan wanted to leave Gwen to be with Theresa. It was the same thing all over again like a dreadful cycle. She was a fool for trusting in Ethan. She thought he loved her more. She thought he would learn to get over Theresa and focus on her and her needs. All she wanted was his love, so why was it so hard to hold onto it? Gwen knew the answer to that question. It took all of the strength in to admit this but Theresa was the one that had the true key to Ethan's heart. Gwen only regretted not realizing this earlier. Such pain and grief could have been spared.  
  
"It's over Ethan," the words were both demanding but soft. All that had been left to say was goodbye and this time it was forever.  
  
~*~ 


	4. Looks can be deceiving

Ethan didn't know where to go or what to do. Several hours had passed after Gwen had told him off. Initially he thought of arguing with her, thinking that she wasn't clear of what she was doing. That it was just anger taking over her. But it was then Ethan realized it was much more than that. He had come to terms with Gwen's feelings. She wanted nothing to do with him. It was her chance of pulling the plug before another similar incident could occur. They both knew on some level that Ethan would never change. This reality didn't seem to grip Ethan at first. So stubborn that he hadn't realized his presence only upset his wife even more. They needed to take a long break from each other. Was it forever? Who knew. All Ethan was sure of was that nothing he could say seemed change Gwen's mind.  
  
"Ethan?"  
  
It was her again. That woman he risked everything for. His marriage and his baby. It had all escaped from his grasp. Nothing could change the broken limbs and scars from his actions. Ethan wanted to put an end to it all. He really did, but at the same time, almost didn't want to. Whether it was now or in the near future, Ethan would have cheated on Gwen eventually. He was just like that. Too weak and too vulnerable to Theresa. There was always something about her that made him want her. He just hated himself for putting his innocent child at risk just so he could set his feelings straight. The true way of his desires lay in Theresa's hands now. He was almost sure that Gwen would never come back to him. His high school sweetheart would now just be a sweet memory at the back of his mind, and his baby, buried along side.  
  
"Ethan, I know you don't want to see me right now but I couldn't stay away. I couldn't leave the hospital knowing you were so upset."  
  
She placed her hand on his shoulder, something he least expected. He thought that after his long, silent treatment she would have just left him alone. But she didn't. She still lingered on, even though everyone wanted her to go away.  
  
"I wish you would have just left when I asked you to Theresa. I don't want Gwen to find you here."  
  
Ethan's head remained collapsed at ground level. He could hardly mouth out the words that escaped his mouth. Just the pure disgust of his ways made him dread anything and everything coming his way. Everything he had done seemed like it was a mistake and somehow Theresa sensed that. She always knew when he was hurting the most.  
  
"Please don't push me away this time Ethan. I know you are hurt and I'm here to help you get through it. Won't you let me, Ethan? Won't you let me into your life again?"  
  
~*~  
  
The buzz of his watch was dreadfully louder than usual. Doctor Abel knew it was time to go home. He looked down at his wrist. 2:00 a.m. Everything around him was dead silent. All he heard was the sound of his shoes as they marched down the narrow hallway. He didn't want to leave knowing she was there. That she was all alone. Surrounded by nothing except cruel darkness. Perhaps he could just momentarily check up on her. Just in case she needed someone. So there Dr. Abel was, almost running to his patient's room. He made it, his breathing enhancing greatly. All that there was left standing in between them was the curtain. He let the fabric suffocate in his hand as he gradually pulled aside the divider. To Dr. Abel's complete outrage, there was already someone there by Gwen's side. Her husband, Ethan. At first Dr. Abel prepared himself to physically separate them from each other but stopped himself just as he noticed Gwen was asleep. Her expression was of content and of indulgement. Ethan's hand lay just above her forehead, sinking into her blonde locks. He sat next to her bedside, learning over extra close enough to here her breath. Both of them looked like they were rejoicing in silent peace. As if celebrating the fact that they were now together. Was it possible they had worked things out? The thought alone sickened Dr. Abel. What was he going to do now? Just leave them be? How could he know? Not when he felt his connection to Gwen advancing. He couldn't just set aside his feelings for her even though deep done that was best. Dr. Abel was a respected doctor. It was time he stood by his reputation. He would make a promise to himself right now. He wouldn't allow himself to get severely involved in his patient's personal life. For his sake and Gwen's. He had no right to barge in and tell them what was what and how things should be. He cared for Gwen too much to not let her make the decision. After all, there was a great chance she still loved Ethan. Dr. Abel had heard and read countless stories about them ever since he was a teenager. There would always be a story about the Crane and Hotchkiss relations and how close they were to intertwining. It was all thanks to the arrangements for Gwen and Ethan to marry. He wasn't sure if they even had time to fall in love. The marriage plans seemed all too soon. They were still so young and yet had so much pressure to be together. Dr. Abel could even remember seeing photographs of the hot couple. They always seemed happy together. As if they were in love, but looks could have been deceiving. After all, Ethan had fallen in love with another woman. Anything was possible. Dr. Abel could hardly begin to picture how Gwen must have felt when she learned the truth. So heartbroken just like she was presently. Ethan had hurt her once more. He only wished he knew what was running through her mind. Did she have enough of Ethan's lies or would she forgive him once more?  
  
"Gwen, I know deep down you still care for me. No matter what, I still will love you too. I just wish I could make you forgive me. If you were to, I promise I would be the best husband there ever was. I'm going to devote my life to you like I should have previously. All marriages have there ups and downs and what we have to do is fight through them all. But we can't move on unless we heal together. Our precious baby girl. I know you miss her deeply and so do I. I'll never forgive myself for doing this to you. I love you too much to let you go. I hope you know that. That I love you."  
  
Dr. Abel quickly turned his head away as Ethan's placed an enduring yet soft kiss on his wife's forehead. There had to be a way to forget about this woman. She was married. She deserved a chance to be with her husband if she wished to be. It was time for Dr. Abel to step aside and just bury his new feelings for her away. Perhaps in the future he could still keep in contact with Gwen. Just to see how her life is going for her. And maybe if she were to break off things with Ethan then he could....  
  
No! What was he thinking? He was being far too selfish. He refused to take advantage of Gwen being vulnerable. For all he knew, maybe she didn't need him saving her. She was an independent and strong lady. She would heal over time.  
  
"Hopefully." Dr. Abel mouthed with a silent tear striking down his face, as he turned his back on the scene in front of him and disappeared into the lonely hallway.  
  
~*~ 


End file.
